The center of the narcissistic apology is the offender saying “I am hurting because of this.” The real apology sees the victim in the center and says, “You are hurting because of this.” The difference – and a critical one – is empathy. As my wife so insightfully noted, “a narcissistic apology is when the apology itself is actually abusive.” It’s extremely manipulative.
The real problem is that this isn’t about an apology, and that’s what so many just don’t seem to understand. An apology might be at the center of the issue, but it’s not the circumference of the issue. This ultimately is about confession and repentance… something unique to our faith. It may initiate with an apology, but it MUST transition into deep, honest confession that ultimately bears long-term fruit as the changed life of repentance.”
If I learned anything from our not so rosy year, it is that the broken world we live in splatters a lot of yuck into our lives. But God is our only constant and our peace and He calls us to do hard things.
Yes we get anxious and feel helpless sometimes and it’s ok. Most times, I have to follow His nudge before I am at peace with it, because I have learned that when I’m obedient even when it’s uncomfortable, it is when God shows me His unfiltered view of the world. It is when He turns my face heavenward and THAT gives me peace.
“Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?
"Or who shut in the sea with doors
when it burst out from the womb,
when I made clouds its garment
and thick darkness its swaddling band,
and prescribed limits for it
and set bars and doors,
and said, ‘Thus far shall you come, and no farther,
and here shall your proud waves be stayed’?
(Job 38:4-11 ESV)